Dear friends,
I am coming to the conclusion that this blog needs to take a different slant. I've been focusing a lot on the issues of practicing with my son, while also being a home-school mom and musician. That won't change. But what I glossed over briefly back in October (or so), was my son's diagnosis of ADD. The gloss came from fear.
I think any mother is afraid of a permanent diagnosis of any type for her child. Whether it's cancer (!), juvenile diabetes, speech impairment, blindness, spina bifida (my heart goes to a friend who is currently facing this with her newborn), or whatever the malady, there is a period of grief and discouragement that follows such a pronouncement.
Ours is only ADD. Yes, I repeat, only. My son can walk, talk, sing, hear, see, feel, control his own bodily functions, think, and love. He can read, analyze, search out, learn, study, and make decisions. He is intelligent and happy. I am blessed.
But as much as I would like to write off the diagnosis as something insignificant, I can't. I am 1/3 of a family, and 2/3 work with ADD brains. All the time. And, as a book I'm currently into points out, one of the most challenging relationships a person with ADD can attempt is with a perfectionist. Right. I have two, trying hard at keeping a relationship with me (and the reverse is every bit as true).
So, expect to hear a lot more about ADD. If I don't acknowledge it, I can't grow. If I refuse to count it into the equation, I am doing my son an injustice, expecting him to function the way I do.
Perhaps (and I would feel so blessed if this were the case), my struggles might be a comfort to some other mother out there who bears the mixed blessing of an incredibly talented child who cannot seem to channel his abilities; a mother who feels deceived by the conflict between the child's ability and actual behavior; a mother who is desperate for answers.
Pray for me, that I may learn grace, courage and self-control, that patience and love may be my watchwords, that I might demonstrate to my son and my husband that first of all, they are valued and loved, just as they are.
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